Ridiculousness and Sincerity

I think my problem when I sit down to blog is that I generally don't have any specific topics to discuss.  Perhaps that would explain the random nature of my past posts that were not dealing specifically with news or me ranting about not being able to find a job.  But this post is the exception.  This post I have a very specific topic that is not only of extreme importance but also dear to every one's heart.  Me. 

I am, needless to say, the apple of many an eye.  My face is symmetrical, my breath is always minty and clean, my feet constantly scrubbed, and my personality flawless.  I am a fresh summer day as you run towards the slip n slide with a pool of happiness awaiting you.  My sense of humor entertains the masses and my feathery hair lightly falls in the precisely planned location of my stylist (me). Needless to say, all of my friends are jealous. 

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That being said, who could have the audacity to keep me and my beautiful wife awake playing ridiculously loud music until 12AM, then watching a ridiculously loud DVD (I believe it was Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke) until 2AM, then passing out from drunkenness and letting the DVD options menu play over and over and over again until 4AM when the police finally arrive?  My lovely neighbor in room 108.  

And the options menu for the DVD wasn't just music or anything, it was dialog.  The same 30 seconds of annoying dialog over and over again for two hours straight.  It was so loud, the dialog alone vibrated the floor.  We could hear it as if it were blasting on our own personal mega-sound system on our own T.V.  

It is unbelievably frustrating having to call the police just to get some sleep.  

But anyway, lets continue with the post. 

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Sheena and I now have a monthly parking spot about two blocks from our apartment.  Glory.

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Why do restaurants find it necessary to have three weeks of training for a server position?  If you don't get it after the first week, maybe you weren't meant for the job.  It's not that complicated people!

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I'd just like to point out that if it weren't for spell check, I would be doomed.

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I have officially decided to start working on music again on a regular basis.  I am telling you because the more people I tell, the more motivated I will be to actually do it. 

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Does anyone know why my trumpet turned a dirty bronze color after being out of it's case for about a month on a stand in my apartment?  It polished off with some elbow grease, but it's never happened when it was out of my case a lot before.  I should give my trumpet more baths. 

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I think I'm going to start reading a book called Spunk and Bite. It is about contemporary, witty writing style.  I think it will help my lyric writing which has always been a bit drab. 

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I took some pictures of my immediate neighborhood and the area where Sheena works the other day.  Some of them are good, but the rest range from terrible to slightly below average.  I will be posting select good-ish ones sometime soon, so you have something to look forward to!  You lucky dogs! 

Take care everyone.  

So I got a job.

Yes, indeed it's true.  I finally got a job! 

 It's at a place called LA Food Show, which, interestingly enough, is not a show at all, but a restaurant.  It's a confusing, and only slightly interesting concept that hasn't gone over particularly well in Manhattan Beach, where they opened their first store.  

The makers of California Pizza Kitchen decided to make another restaurant, but this time, the theme will be L.A.  That's right, not a French restaurant, not a pizza place, not mexican food...an L.A. food joint.  It 'explores the sensory universe' that is Los Angeles.  And since L.A. has so many different types of food, L.A. Food Show has a bit of everything. 

Hopefully the Beverly Hills location that opens in October will do better than the Manhattan Beach branch, as I will be working there! 

So I'm happy.  Even though I didn't want to serve anymore, and I'll likely have conflicting work hours with Sheena, I am excited to start working.  We will work the scheduling out, and we will not have to worry about whether or not we can afford groceries.  Plus, the restaurant is in Beverly Hills a block from Rodeo drive (at this that is what they have said), with a lot of foot traffic across the street from a large hotel.  Hopefully there will be a lot of business.  

Maybe now Sheena and I will be able to rent out a place to park somewhere and stop having to deal with street parking. 

On Life in L.A.

I am a large pick-up truck.  Not one of those overbearing, humongous, compensating-for-something types; just a big, worn around the edges Chevy pick up.  I've got a couple miles under my belt, I'm sturdy, but I just can't seem to find parking.  I'm in a giant parking lot, with so many spaces I hardly know where to start looking.  

Oh! There's an open spot! 

My engine sounds off as I accelerate towards the blessed piece of dirty pavement.  Sure, it's a little farther away from where I had originally planned on staying for a while, but that's okay, I'm not too...Dang! Compact spot.  I'm too big.  

"Well," I figure, "there's a lot more pavement where that came from!"  So I go trucking along to find another space.  

Doo do doo do doo.... Wow, for such a big lot, there are not very many spaces!  Oh well, gonna keep on.

Oh hey!  A parking attendant!  He's pointing me in the right direction.  Thank goodness.  I follow his point and take a left, somewhere even farther from where I had wanted to be, but that's okay, a spot's a spot, and I'll take it!  Actually, there's a few trees over there. A nice bit of shade would be nice.  These spots are lookin' great!  Now excited, I head over to the well manicured parking area.  

"Um, excuse me?" I hear from above as I pull in.  "Can't you read?"  I look up, and a not so pleasant RESERVED PARKING sign looks down at me with an erkiness usually reserved for those annoying idiots that are lost and stop in the middle of the street searching for... whatever it is those types search for.  I wouldn't know. 

I head back to the parking attendant to see where I went wrong, but he was gone.

Thus my adventure continued. 

There's a spot! ...nope, a Mini Cooper that had pulled far forward.

There's another!  Motorcycles only.

aaaHA! ...Darn, I'm not fancy enough for the limo valet...

Just too wide for this one...

Too long for that one...

Okay, now this is getting ridiculous!  I'm gonna blow a gasket!  I'm gonna run out of gas before I find a place to park! 

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Sheena and I are thinking about taking a trip (sometime in our L.A. lives) to Albuquerque.  Yeah, random, I know.  But we are like-to-move-around types, and Sheena has been doing some research online about ABQ for her work.  Looks like a great place to be!  And cheap to visit relative to most tourist destinations.  If it's good, in a couple years, we might even move there!  (If we don't move to Maui, Japan, Seattle, Denver...)  

That's kind of how life is right now.  Don't really know what I'm doing, don't really know where I'm going.  I'm willing to bet that this is a common side effect of moving out to be on your own for the first time.  College doesn't count, I was never really on my own.   

In a way, I hate being on my own.  Feeling anxious about finding work, having actual responsibilities...

But then, I love being on my own.  Being self reliant, living with the woman of my dreams, making my own decisions... 

I know I'm preaching to the choir.  Pretty much everyone that would read this is on their own, have probably already gone through what I'm attempting to monologue about while not going into detail, because details are boring  to blog readers.  

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I have also been searching for the meaning in my life that has seemingly disappeared.  Purpose is hard to come by in the midst of moving, searching for jobs, worrying about money...you know, all that crap that comes along with adulthood. 

Once I heard someone say that purpose is something that comes from selflessness, from giving yourself away. 

For that reason, I find this quote from page 106 in Anne Lammot's Traveling Mercies quite comforting. 

"...the world sometimes feels like the waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less OK for now need to take the tenderest possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes.  You sit with people... you bring them juice and graham crackers." 

But of course, just being selfless is not enough.  There has to be a driving force behind your selflessness, a greater love.  Which, for Christians, is obviously Christ and His Kingdom.  

While I know that this concept is elementary, I find it helpful to remember that the driving force isn't only driving the selflessness, but also driving how that selflessness is enacted in the world.  Purpose isn't something we can create for ourselves by handing out juice and graham crackers, but something that is created for us when we say 'yes Father' before handing out juice and graham crackers. 

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What you want to be

*You want* ^so bad^ly to be marble.  But cheap and plastic, you hang, surrounded by *light*.  Why desire to be what (((you are not))) when everyone already believes you are what you want to be? 

You want so badly to be deep.  *But* young and ^shallow^, you live, surrounded by plastic.  Why desire to be what you are not when everyone already believes you are what you want to be?

You want so badly to be passionate.  But cold and loveless, you sit, surrounded by youth.  Why desire to be what *you are* not when everyone already believes you are what you want to be? 

You want so badly to be rich.  But poor and ^and^ *bored*, you stay, surrounded by the ^cold^.  Why desire to be what #you are not# when everyone #already# believes that you are #what you# want to be?

You want so badly to be selfless.  ^But^ old and ordinary, you look, surround by the poor.  Why desire to be what you #can# never #be, no matter what others think#*?* 

a      higher         call                             ing. 

^You^ want 

so badly 

to be (((a)))  poet.                             But 

un original and confused, 

you write, surrounded by ------->the ordinary.  

W

h

o

^

a

r

e

^

you ^trying^ to (((fool)))?

If Wishes Were Fishes...

...the world would be disgusting.

Who needs a bunch of fish anyways?  If we really needed that many fish, God would have created that many fish from the start!  But I have been creating a lot of fish lately, wishing that I could find a job, wishing that I had more money, etc.  I feel that I have been losing track of what is really important!  I payed less attention in my thoughts to all that I have to be thankful for!  I have a lot more to be 'thankful for' than to be 'wishful for.'  God I love and hate Matthew 6: 25-34.  

I need to chill about the whole job thing.   

While I need a job and will continue to pursue one, I have decided to stop worrying so much.  I have felt like a frazzled cat a lot for the past couple days!  

Not a good feeling.  

In other news, I have discovered the futility of self affirmation.   You know when that critical voice inside your head berates you, or makes you second guess yourself?  You know when you want to hush that 'bugger-boo' whenever you feel those negative thoughts trying to surface? Well, I was trying to self affirm the other day when I was feeling down on myself for not finding a job.  

I kept repeating things like 'I am not in my right place at this time, things will get better,' 

or 'I break free from self imposed restraints and live my life fully; my success is boundless,'

and even, 'I am filled with the positive flow of Love today. I am love.  I am loved. I am wealthy.'  

But you know, its just a load of rubbish!  When you tell yourself your great, or love incarnate, it's just pretty damn hard to believe!  Oh, and you don't become skinny like the lady in the picture either. 

But when others affirm you, you wife, friends, family, it can make all the difference in the world.  Thanks everyone for being there with and for me, even in the smallest ways.  Thanks.  

Adieu 

This Post is Not Real

I feel like I should post more frequently.  But now is definitely not the time. 

I am much too busy packing while blasting Bjork on my tricked out laptop speakers to be bothered with something as elementary as a blog! 

So sorry, no post today.  

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In other news, I have been craving a drum stick.

Hmmmm.... Which one? 

Adieu 

Laziness: An Interior Monologue

So, I've been feeling really lazy lately.  I haven't actually been lazy per se, just feeling like it.  If I had nothing to do, I would be sitting around doing, well, nothing!    

But what causes laziness?  Is it a result of inner peace?  Somehow, I don't think so.  Is it the result of a paralyzing fear that says anything you try to accomplish will result in failure?  Maybe... but that doesn't really explain why I just couldn't bring myself to take out the trash.  I mean, I don't know how many of you have failed at taking out the trash, but in my limited experience, I am undefeated.  

Perhaps what really causes laziness is simply the ability to be lazy.  I can be lazy, therefore I will be.  The trash will still be there tomorrow! 

However, when there are veritable consequences for slothfulness, instantaneously the lackadaisical me becomes industrious.  (Yes, I utilized a thesaurus.)  

Conclusion:  I can be lazy, therefore I am lazy! 

This conclusion is testament to the truth of Mr. Obama's belief that 'Yes, we can!'

"So what's keeping you so busy that you are unable to oblige your lazy (and slightly democratic) tendencies?" 

Well, I have begun dealing with a few very traumatic things. 

The pain ......

woe .....

and suffering...

of packing.

 

Packing makes me feel like I will never love again.  It is the singular and most vile practice in the western world. (Well, maybe plastic surgery is worse, but packing is a close second then!) I have spent more time today packing that I ever wanted to spend packing in my entire life.  

"How much did you pack today?"

My bedside table.  

"That's it?"

Well, yeah, I was so miserable that I just had to find my happy place.  

I got so lost in joy, 

that I was unable to do anything 

but sit around,

drink beer,

and wish I could be lazy.

And now it's time for bed.

Adieu 

                                                     

An Apology and Other News

I feel it necessary to apologize for my last post.  I guess that's what happens when I weblog er...blog in the wee hours of the night.  

You know I've always wondered at those select few bloggers (you know who you are) who consistently update their blogs with deep, insightful ideas and meaningful monologues. How in the world do you constantly have so many great ideas?  I guess they simply think more than I do.  Perhaps I just don't have that kind of mind.  But well done you advanced bloggers.  The state of California commends you. 

In other news, this Wednesday is my last day working at the Lake Arrowhead Country Club.  It's funny because my last day there I am tending bar.  I'm not entirely sure why, I guess Mr. Supervisor thought it would be nice to have me do something I have never done on my last day.  Nice guy.  

Good thing I picked up this little gem ------------->

And after my day of perfectly tending bar, Sheena and I move to Los Angeles!  We will be living in Korea Town.  

I look forward to hefting all the delicate and important stuff, while Sheena takes care of everything else.   Everything.

And I still need a job.  That sucks.  But I'm pretty confident in my chances of employment once I get an interview somewhere.  

Hopefully I will be able to avoid working in the food service industry.  But I will serve tables again if I get desperate.  At the moment I'm looking for a more office based/non-profit style job.  

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Isn't it funny how pictures can make an ordinary, boring post a little bit more than itself?  It's kind of like music in movies i guess.  

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Well, take care fellow members of humanity.  Until next time! 

Adieu

Blogging

Well here we go.  I have now entered the convoluted world of the blog.  Why?  I dunno, I guess I just felt like it. 

Anyway, I have often wondered why a blog is called a blog.  

(I could now enter into a monologue about who WAS that person who created an online journal and called it a blog in the first place, but lets just skip over that, since that sort of humor is no longer in 'Vogue') --> *Let your body move to the music!*   Thanks Madonna.  

So I did some research. 

As it turns out, the word 'blog' is a derivative of weblog, or web-log, which back in the good ol' days (1994-1997), was just a term for manually updated components of common websites. Basically, the most popular websites of the day were fed into little web-logs, to be accessed more easily by the masses. 

But alas, the poor little 'we' was left behind when, rather than website information, the weblog began hosting personal information.  Why? My theory is that the internet is largely an American phenomenon, and Americans are typically lazy in their speech. Therefore weblog was just too long.  Thus, the word blog.  Since it is so much more easy to say that way.  Or should i say, "cause it's easier"?

....

So who cares? Why is this important?  Well... the only reason blogging is important is because now I am blogging, and anything that I do must be important.  So now that you all know more about blogs, you can rest assured that blogs are mainstream for I, after all, now have one. 

Thanks.