What you want to be

*You want* ^so bad^ly to be marble.  But cheap and plastic, you hang, surrounded by *light*.  Why desire to be what (((you are not))) when everyone already believes you are what you want to be? 

You want so badly to be deep.  *But* young and ^shallow^, you live, surrounded by plastic.  Why desire to be what you are not when everyone already believes you are what you want to be?

You want so badly to be passionate.  But cold and loveless, you sit, surrounded by youth.  Why desire to be what *you are* not when everyone already believes you are what you want to be? 

You want so badly to be rich.  But poor and ^and^ *bored*, you stay, surrounded by the ^cold^.  Why desire to be what #you are not# when everyone #already# believes that you are #what you# want to be?

You want so badly to be selfless.  ^But^ old and ordinary, you look, surround by the poor.  Why desire to be what you #can# never #be, no matter what others think#*?* 

a      higher         call                             ing. 

^You^ want 

so badly 

to be (((a)))  poet.                             But 

un original and confused, 

you write, surrounded by ------->the ordinary.  

W

h

o

^

a

r

e

^

you ^trying^ to (((fool)))?

If Wishes Were Fishes...

...the world would be disgusting.

Who needs a bunch of fish anyways?  If we really needed that many fish, God would have created that many fish from the start!  But I have been creating a lot of fish lately, wishing that I could find a job, wishing that I had more money, etc.  I feel that I have been losing track of what is really important!  I payed less attention in my thoughts to all that I have to be thankful for!  I have a lot more to be 'thankful for' than to be 'wishful for.'  God I love and hate Matthew 6: 25-34.  

I need to chill about the whole job thing.   

While I need a job and will continue to pursue one, I have decided to stop worrying so much.  I have felt like a frazzled cat a lot for the past couple days!  

Not a good feeling.  

In other news, I have discovered the futility of self affirmation.   You know when that critical voice inside your head berates you, or makes you second guess yourself?  You know when you want to hush that 'bugger-boo' whenever you feel those negative thoughts trying to surface? Well, I was trying to self affirm the other day when I was feeling down on myself for not finding a job.  

I kept repeating things like 'I am not in my right place at this time, things will get better,' 

or 'I break free from self imposed restraints and live my life fully; my success is boundless,'

and even, 'I am filled with the positive flow of Love today. I am love.  I am loved. I am wealthy.'  

But you know, its just a load of rubbish!  When you tell yourself your great, or love incarnate, it's just pretty damn hard to believe!  Oh, and you don't become skinny like the lady in the picture either. 

But when others affirm you, you wife, friends, family, it can make all the difference in the world.  Thanks everyone for being there with and for me, even in the smallest ways.  Thanks.  

Adieu